Friday, June 22, 2007

Overwhelmed MUCH?!?!?!

This is both a question and an exclamation that has been running through my head the past month. I am one that does not believe in self-pity at least not for more than 5 minutes...I just know that there are so many people out there that have it a heck of a lot worse than I do. We are all given challenges and trials in life....Before beginning to tell me how crazy her life is, my friend Cindy always says, "Hell-o, I know I don't even have kids and you have two...I can't even imagine...like I should be complaining." And what I always say to her is..."Hey, we all have "things" going on." So this blog entry is more of a diary entry...something I just need to express into words to hopfully get things into perspective for me. And I can type a heck of a lot faster than I can write.

No doubt, I am thrilled to be home after traveling out of state and out of town for two 4 day excursions. The trips were definitely fun and life improving expereinces, but it feels so good to be home. I really like living in Fresno, but I really feel like we aren't a part of anything here. I know we are out of town often...but really, recently we have MIA because the kidos were so sick for what seemed to be forever. Yeah, we have our ward, but it seems as though if we are not going every Sunday, we fall off the radar. We were invited to a get together tonight, but Mr. Dougie didn't get home from work until close to 9pm so I decided not to go. Some people probably think we are flakes, don't want to go, or what have you, but the truth is...I do not have the strength or the patience at the end of the day to go out to a get together with the kidos by myself. Sometimes I feel lazy, but after having an appointment with a behavioral doctor for Ren, I think I am entitled to the feeling of overwhelmness...a new word-I just made up. :)

So quick run down of my sweet Serenity. She will be getting assessed by some more doctors...there are some definite concerns, but nothing that we can't handle! We don't know any specifics yet...once she is assessed further we will know more. It was such a relief to have a doctor actually say that there was some "concerns". Obviously, I don't want either of my kids to have "concerns", but it gets a little troubling when everyone around says, "Oh, she is fine, or don't worry she is just a kid...it makes me start to wonder, "what the heck is wrong with me." The doctor did say she is extemely bright and a very happy girl. We will just be learning some ways to help Ren handle her frustrations! :) I know that since we have been reading from the New Testament as a family every night our family has been blessed with more patience and love towards one another.

So, I think it is time to call it a night. As always, I never want to hurt anyone's feelings or offend anyone. This is just a way of expressing my feelings and it has helped tremendoulsy. I have a lot going on right now emotionally and mentally...more than most people know...and proabably more than I know or thought. I know we (our family) just need to continue following Heavenly Father's plan and all will be fabuloso! :)

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